Setting up your child for sleep success while managing daycare demands.
If you are one of the millions of parents who rely on child care centers for some or all of your child's daytime supervision, you may find that getting adequate naps for your child is a challenging task.
Not only is finding affordable child care hard enough in and of itself, managing your child's needs while balancing the daycare's policies and schedules leave some parents with their head spinning.
[As a quick aside, I'd like to give a shoutout to the amazing women and men who work in child care. The care and investment they put into these children is forever appreciated.]
See below for my best tips for managing your child's sleep needs while they are in daycare.
Tip #1: Discuss Naptime Schedule Options with the Daycare Provider
Your child cannot advocate for themselves. You will need to open a polite dialogue with the daycare provider around your child's sleep needs.
Understandably, many daycares will put children in certain age categories on the same schedule.
Unfortunately, these schedules often overlook appropriate sleep needs for young children. For example:
Some daycares require 12 months old babies to be on one nap; even though they typically cannot function well on one nap until at least 15 months of age.
They may give 2 year olds the option of quiet time instead of naptime, even though children this young do best with a midday nap.
What can you do? Explore schedule options! And if they don't already, ask them to provide a sleep log each day so you can track how your child is doing.
Option: If they are moving your child to one nap sooner than is age-appropriate, ask that your child be kept on the same schedule as a younger group.
Be honest about your child's temperament after daycare. Maybe the provider doesn't realize that your child is melting down after daycare, or falling asleep on the way home. Or perhaps your little is suddenly struggling with nighttime wakings or early morning rising.
Option: If they offer flexible naptimes for infants, provide a template for your child's naptime needs!
This could look like offering a range (please put her down for the first nap between 8:30-9:00 AM).
Option: After speaking with the provider beforehand, include clear but reasonably simple instructions that are within their policy boundaries.
If my child sleeps for less than an hour, please offer the next nap at least 30 minutes earlier than usual.
Tip #2: Offer Naptime Environment Options
Sure, some children can nap in any environment. But many infants and children do best in an environment that promotes quality, restorative sleep. And a bright, open room with lots of other children typically doesn't provide that environment.
What can you do? Offer to provide products to improve your child's sleep environment and ideas for mimicking the naptime routine.
This could include products, such as a:
Sleep sack (wearable blanket). For young infants, mom or dad can wear/sleep with the garment ahead of time to transfer their scent onto it.
Pacifier.
Lovey (if age appropriate).
If there are concerns about not seeing the child, see if they can use it but keep the window unzipped.
Or maybe you can include a wireless baby monitor so they can see the child on the monitor at all times.
This could include naptime routine ideas, such as a:
Short book to read before putting them down.
Song they love to sing before naptime.
Or any advice on how to mimic a reasonably short bedtime routine.
Daycare providers want your child to sleep, just as much as you do!
Tip #3: Share Soothing Techniques
Parents often discover a certain way to soothe their child that isn't obvious to other adults and caregivers. But because it's second nature to the parent, it might not cross their mind to communicate that information.
What can you do? Empower your daycare providers with soothing ideas.
Examples: Let them know that if your little one is struggling to sleep, the daycare provider can:
Place him in his crib and let him self-soothe for up to 10 minutes.
Use the pacifier I've included in her diaper bag.
Rock him to sleep and then try placing him down in his crib.
Rock her to sleep and hold her for the nap.
Replace the pacifier if he wakes up partway through nap.
Bounce/rock/soothe her if she struggles to connect sleep cycles (typically happens around the 40 minute mark).
Many providers are happy to have conversations with parents about the child. They can also provide insight to you, as the parent, regarding observations they've made about your child, which can lead to better ideas and solutions.
Tip #4: Embrace an Early Bedtime
You've opened a dialogue with the daycare, but they're unable or unwilling to accommodate your requests.
Or, they've been wonderfully responsive, helpful, and followed all your advice but your child still isn't napping well.
What can you do? Embrace the power of the Early Bedtime.
Like, even as early as 5:30 PM.
Why is an early bedtime so powerful? It helps your child:
Avoid overtired meltdowns.
Catch up on powerfully restorative NREM sleep.
Makeup for lost daytime sleep.
Decrease nighttime and early morning wakings.
Reduce bedtime battles.
And improve their chances of sleeping at daycare.
You might be thinking, there's no way we can do that! Don't worry, you're not the first person to say that to me. See below for possible solutions.
Pushback to this Tip + Suggested Solutions
> Pushback #1: We don't even get home from daycare until 5:30. After dinner, bath, and bedtime routine I can't get my little one to bed any earlier than 7:30 PM.
Solution 1: Shorten your evening routine:
Meal prep or even just meal plan for quicker dinners: crock pot meals, freezer meals, pb+j sandwiches, etc.
Skip the bath and shorten the bedtime routine.
Avoid screens once you get home!
Solution 2: Discuss a slight schedule adjustment with your employer. This won't be possible for everyone. But many jobs might let you shift your schedule by 30-60 minutes.
> Pushback #2: If we put our child to bed that early, my spouse won't get to see them. This concern always breaks my heart because I'm a mother and know how I'd feel about this situation (spoiler: not great).
Solution 1: Invest in quality time with your child in the mornings. Your spouse can do breakfast, get them dressed, and playtime before daycare.
Solution 2: Heavily focus on quality family time on the weekends.
Solution 3: Discuss a slight schedule adjustment with your employer. This won't be possible for everyone. But many jobs might let you shift your schedule by 30-60 minutes.
Remember: As the parents, weigh the cost of the sacrifice. If your child is struggling with sleep but time with their parent is more important, the wonderful part about parenting is that YOU get to decide the priorities. I'm just a certified sleep consultant. I'm not the parent.
> Pushback #3: My child is so overtired from daycare that they inevitably fall asleep in the car on the way home.
Solution 1: If your child is about 8 months or younger, you might want to embrace the short cat nap and enjoy the flexibility of a slightly later bedtime.
Solution 2: For infants and children who need to stay awake, embrace screen time, snacks, audio books, or rock out to their favorite songs!
Solution 3: Discuss a slight schedule adjustment with your employer. This won't be possible for everyone. But many jobs might let you shift your schedule by 30-60 minutes.
Get creative! But also cut yourself some slack. This is a uniquely hard time to be a parent and we're all just doing our best, truly.
Tip #5: Reset on the Weekends
You may have read through this and thought to yourself, well this is easy for you to put in a blog post but I can't use any of these tips!
>> If that's the case, know that my heart goes out to every parent who feels overwhelmed by work + daycare + parenting. It is such a difficult balance!
What can you do? Use the weekends as a reset button.
Prioritize their sleep schedule: both naps and bedtime!
Set aside quality family time. I'm sure that you'll have plenty of household chores to do and errands to run. But thoughtfully set aside time to bond with your children.
You may have little to no control over the weekday schedule or your child's daycare situation. But you can take ownership of the weekends!
If your child is doing well at daycare but struggling at night or with naps at home, checkout my services to explore how I can best help you all get the quality sleep each family deserves and needs!
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